Military Sayings (Humorous)

What's the difference between a copilot and a jet engine? A: The jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

‘Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.’ 

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.' 

'Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.'

'Five second grenade fuses last about three seconds.'

‘Friendly fire - isn't.’ 

"Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at." - Squadron Officers School Class Theme

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur 

'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echoes.' If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.‘ -Pre-flight briefing from an F-15 Pilot 

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.‘ - U.S. Air Force Manual 

The three most common military aviation expressions (or famous last words) are: 'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh Shit!'

''The three best things in life are: A good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time'. - Ready room sign, USS Enterprise, 1969, Gulf of Tonkin 

‘When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.’ - USMC 

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' - Paul F. Crickmore (SR-71 test pilot)- 

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil, for I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.' - Sign over SR-71 Wing Ops

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter and therefore, unsafe.' - Fixed Wing Pilot

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

‘When in doubt, empty the magazine.' - Korean War Advice

As a test pilot climbs out of an experimental plane having crashed tearing off the wings and tail, crash trucks arrive. A rescuer asks bloodied pilot, ‘What happened?' The pilot replies, 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

'Incoming fire has the right of way.' – Marine adage 

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